[it says a lot that she didn't realize right away what he meant. rather, it could mean a lot of things - perhaps she leads a very busy, social life and forgot. but the kindness in which she handled him leads Blue to believe it's just a matter of character: that it was such a no-brainer as to not be remembered as outstanding an interaction.
caring for a complete stranger in such a state... that, too, is very telling.]
I'm no longer on that precipice. Thanks to you, to others. It was good of you to do...that...'nothing' needing thanks, as you say.
[ She lets out a sigh of relief. It's so instinctive that she doesn't even realise it's happening until the sound has already left her mouth. But even though she feels a tad embarrassed about it, she also knows the feeling is genuine. She just is that glad that Blue is doing better now, considering how awful his mental state had seemed last time around. ]
I'm so glad to hear that you're okay now.. It must have taken a lot to feel better after suffering such an awful loss. You're really strong.
[ It might be a bit too early of a judgement to make. Most people would think that way, but Chizuru herself seems entirely genuine as she says those words, like she already doesn't doubt her judgement there. ]
A whole lot of people must have reached out to you, right?
Sometimes.. it's just hard. Even when it's right there, if you're too overwhelmed by other feelings, it can be hard to see.. [ So in other words - she doesn't blame him. It really did seem like he had been driven to the very edge of desperation back there, and that makes her really feel for Blue. ]
But the important part is that you made it through so you can see it now, you know?
[ Her smile is basically audible in her voice. ]
Oh, by the way.. Are you living by yourself now, or with someone else? Is everything going okay with that too? [ She's just got to make sure someone is taking care of him! She's fussing!! ]
[ She was a little bit worried about whether or not he might be living on his own now - which she could imagine not really helping with how lonely and hurt he had both seemed and sounded that one time. But if he's staying with someone, then.. surely that person must be helping him too. ]
I'm sure you two are doing well together, but.. um, if you ever need help with anything, you can always ask.. [ Though honestly, the offer has little to do with Blue's situation. It's the sort of thing Chizuru would tell pretty much anyone, even if they were a stranger. ] I've found cooking to be pretty calming here, so if you guys ever need a meal, I could always bring some over..!
[ There's a tiny noise, just a tad surprised - something like a little "ah.." ]
It's.. not too much, is it? I wouldn't want you to feel pressured..
[ Even though she thinks that Blue is taking it as a good thing, judging by his laugh, but Chizuru just can't help but fuss with the way she is. ]
I just want to make sure that your future experiences in this place will be better than your past ones, so you don't have to feel that sad ever again..
[ Her voice trails off, and for a moment she doesn't continue yet. Chizuru is probably trying to figure out whether that'd be considered a compliment or not before she can truly accept it - considering her trouble with ever accepting anything positive being said about her.
She decides it's enough of a border case to proceed with: ]
I guess.. [ Safe enough. ] B-But, I mean--! You were kind enough to contact me again like this too, so that makes me think you have a very kind nature as well..!
[ There we go. It's so much easier for her when she can instead redirect all the kindness and compliments towards someone else. ]
No, I-- I thought that a lot of people must have reached out to you, and that at least one of them must have convinced you, even if it might not be me..
[ .. but that's not the full truth, is it.
After a second Chizuru adds, more sheepishly: ]
.. though I guess I was a little worried.. [ More than just a little bit. But it's not like she wants to make Blue feel bad for worrying people in the first place. He couldn't help it in his position, she thinks. ]
[ A part of her wants to say that it's not like he left a really bad impression with her - but before she can say it, she realises that it's probably not so easy for him to believe that..
So maybe it'd be better to just let him do something, even though he doesn't have to? It might make him feel better, after all, and that's important to Chizuru. ]
Of course you can, if you want. But.. what did you want to do to repay me then..?
[he's not a warrior, nor a crafter...he can only cook simple things for survival, and fashion really hasn't been a skill cultivated in his hundreds of years.]
That's a ball in her court, isn't it. And if there's anything Chizuru is absolutely awful at in life, it's asking for things she wants, or sometimes even determining what she wants. It's why the girl suddenly goes suspiciously quiet, unsure of what to even say here. ]
Oh.. um.. I-I'm not sure I really need anything..
[ But on the other hand, saying that also feels unfair when it really seems like Blue wants to do something for her!
What a conundrum for someone so selfless. ]
I mean.. Maybe we could do something together sometime, even if it's just as simple as having tea..? I suppose having company is the best thing to get here..
[ She just feels grateful that he agrees with it - and that means all she can hope is that he actually likes having tea with company, rather than feeling forced to. ]
Ah, that's great..! [ The gratitude, though? That definitely shows in her voice. ] Then let's definitely do that sometime soon..! I'll send you my address, then you're welcome to come over any time you want. I'm sure my roommate won't mind.
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caring for a complete stranger in such a state... that, too, is very telling.]
I'm no longer on that precipice. Thanks to you, to others. It was good of you to do...that...'nothing' needing thanks, as you say.
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[ She lets out a sigh of relief. It's so instinctive that she doesn't even realise it's happening until the sound has already left her mouth. But even though she feels a tad embarrassed about it, she also knows the feeling is genuine. She just is that glad that Blue is doing better now, considering how awful his mental state had seemed last time around. ]
I'm so glad to hear that you're okay now.. It must have taken a lot to feel better after suffering such an awful loss. You're really strong.
[ It might be a bit too early of a judgement to make. Most people would think that way, but Chizuru herself seems entirely genuine as she says those words, like she already doesn't doubt her judgement there. ]
A whole lot of people must have reached out to you, right?
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[he breathes out a soft sound.]
There is...a great deal of compassion here. In these people. It's just sad I...couldn't feel it for myself, despite my abilities.
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But the important part is that you made it through so you can see it now, you know?
[ Her smile is basically audible in her voice. ]
Oh, by the way.. Are you living by yourself now, or with someone else? Is everything going okay with that too? [ She's just got to make sure someone is taking care of him! She's fussing!! ]
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A dear friend...came and conveyed me away. To his home. I'm not alone.
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[ She was a little bit worried about whether or not he might be living on his own now - which she could imagine not really helping with how lonely and hurt he had both seemed and sounded that one time. But if he's staying with someone, then.. surely that person must be helping him too. ]
I'm sure you two are doing well together, but.. um, if you ever need help with anything, you can always ask.. [ Though honestly, the offer has little to do with Blue's situation. It's the sort of thing Chizuru would tell pretty much anyone, even if they were a stranger. ] I've found cooking to be pretty calming here, so if you guys ever need a meal, I could always bring some over..!
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You've done me so much already...and here you are, offering more.
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It's.. not too much, is it? I wouldn't want you to feel pressured..
[ Even though she thinks that Blue is taking it as a good thing, judging by his laugh, but Chizuru just can't help but fuss with the way she is. ]
I just want to make sure that your future experiences in this place will be better than your past ones, so you don't have to feel that sad ever again..
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[ Her voice trails off, and for a moment she doesn't continue yet. Chizuru is probably trying to figure out whether that'd be considered a compliment or not before she can truly accept it - considering her trouble with ever accepting anything positive being said about her.
She decides it's enough of a border case to proceed with: ]
I guess.. [ Safe enough. ] B-But, I mean--! You were kind enough to contact me again like this too, so that makes me think you have a very kind nature as well..!
[ There we go. It's so much easier for her when she can instead redirect all the kindness and compliments towards someone else. ]
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[ .. but that's not the full truth, is it.
After a second Chizuru adds, more sheepishly: ]
.. though I guess I was a little worried.. [ More than just a little bit. But it's not like she wants to make Blue feel bad for worrying people in the first place. He couldn't help it in his position, she thinks. ]
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If it would not trouble you...I would like to repay your kindness. Not out of obligation so much as...being able to leave a better impression.
For right now...that sad impression...is surely the strongest one you have of me.
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So maybe it'd be better to just let him do something, even though he doesn't have to? It might make him feel better, after all, and that's important to Chizuru. ]
Of course you can, if you want. But.. what did you want to do to repay me then..?
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[he's not a warrior, nor a crafter...he can only cook simple things for survival, and fashion really hasn't been a skill cultivated in his hundreds of years.]
What could I do for you, Chizuru?
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[ Oh, sheesh.
That's a ball in her court, isn't it. And if there's anything Chizuru is absolutely awful at in life, it's asking for things she wants, or sometimes even determining what she wants. It's why the girl suddenly goes suspiciously quiet, unsure of what to even say here. ]
Oh.. um.. I-I'm not sure I really need anything..
[ But on the other hand, saying that also feels unfair when it really seems like Blue wants to do something for her!
What a conundrum for someone so selfless. ]
I mean.. Maybe we could do something together sometime, even if it's just as simple as having tea..? I suppose having company is the best thing to get here..
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I would be happy to share some tea and time with you, yes.
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Ah, that's great..! [ The gratitude, though? That definitely shows in her voice. ] Then let's definitely do that sometime soon..! I'll send you my address, then you're welcome to come over any time you want. I'm sure my roommate won't mind.
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[ She's not a very picky girl, honestly. Especially when it comes to tea, since she likes tea in general. ]
So if you have a preference, you could bring that.. Or otherwise anything at all would be fine! Please don't worry about it too much..
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[so hmu whenever u got an open thread for me to crash! o/]