Can I ask why? [ Her voice is much more gentle as she tries not to press too hard but the whole situation frustrates her. She's never been good with relationships and this all... Well, it's all a little beyond her. It's clear they both matter to one another and it feels as if they're both trying to be distant for the sake of the other without realizing it'll just cause more hurt feelings in the long run. ]
And Chizuru is also planning on answering, even if there's a moment of nothing first. It's the sort of thing that's difficult to put into words, Chizuru trying to untangle all her thoughts and feelings enough to put them into words that someone else might be able to understand. ]
[ It's Sharon's turn to fall quiet for a good long moment, chewing at her lip in thought. Both of these girls are in their heads about this. They both think they're at fault. ]
I think the only way it can go wrong again is if you leave it like this. She... You know how she is, how she overthinks, how she blames herself. You do it, too, don't you? Blame yourself?
[ A sigh. ] Just... give it some thought, maybe? I'm not asking you to do it now. I just don't think leaving it like this will do either of you any good. [ Sharon won't press any more. Both of them need some time to heal. ]
[ It's hard. On the one hand, it's like Sharon's words are perfectly suited to pull Chizuru into doing what the other is asking of her. She's naturally obedient, naturally someone who thinks of others' needs before her own, and something about Sharon saying that Jinx is blaming herself-- it makes her feel like she should talk to the other right this instant, even if Sharon also says it doesn't have to be right now.
On the other hand, Chizuru knows she'll screw it up. Sharon may not think so, but Chizuru knows.
She's no good. She can't do this.
It's two conflicting desires, and both of them hurt. Chizuru swallows, stiffling a sob. She can't sound sad. She has to let Sharon focus on helping Jinx. She has to pull attention away from herself, and keep it focused on Jinx instead. ]
I will. [ ... ] Give it some thought, I mean.
[ Releasing a breath when it might be shaky feels too dangerous, so Chizuru momentarily holds it. ]
[ The sob catches Sharon off guard and even though Chizuru bites it back, stuffs it down, and swallows it, there's no denying what it is. Her heart pinches in her chest. ]
Hey, it's okay. Don't apologize. You've got no reason to. [ Sharon isn't a big fan of needless apologies, though she's starting to pick up on the fact that Chizuru might assign herself blame beyond just this breakup. ]
Take your time, think it over, and... If you need any advice or even just someone to talk to, you can give me a call.
[ Though Chizuru acting upon it is a different matter entirely - especially when she often feels so guilty for reaching out to people.
There's no doubt in her mind though that it's kind of the other to offer in the first place. ]
.. thank you.
[ They're two very soft words, and then Chizuru hangs up. She probably needs a moment to try and breathe to calm herself down, maybe cry a little now no one can hear. ]
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And Chizuru is also planning on answering, even if there's a moment of nothing first. It's the sort of thing that's difficult to put into words, Chizuru trying to untangle all her thoughts and feelings enough to put them into words that someone else might be able to understand. ]
I don't want it to go wrong again.
[ She doesn't want to make it worse. ]
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I think the only way it can go wrong again is if you leave it like this. She... You know how she is, how she overthinks, how she blames herself. You do it, too, don't you? Blame yourself?
[ A sigh. ] Just... give it some thought, maybe? I'm not asking you to do it now. I just don't think leaving it like this will do either of you any good. [ Sharon won't press any more. Both of them need some time to heal. ]
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[ It's hard. On the one hand, it's like Sharon's words are perfectly suited to pull Chizuru into doing what the other is asking of her. She's naturally obedient, naturally someone who thinks of others' needs before her own, and something about Sharon saying that Jinx is blaming herself-- it makes her feel like she should talk to the other right this instant, even if Sharon also says it doesn't have to be right now.
On the other hand, Chizuru knows she'll screw it up. Sharon may not think so, but Chizuru knows.
She's no good. She can't do this.
It's two conflicting desires, and both of them hurt. Chizuru swallows, stiffling a sob. She can't sound sad. She has to let Sharon focus on helping Jinx. She has to pull attention away from herself, and keep it focused on Jinx instead. ]
I will. [ ... ] Give it some thought, I mean.
[ Releasing a breath when it might be shaky feels too dangerous, so Chizuru momentarily holds it. ]
Sorry. That you had to reach out to me.
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Hey, it's okay. Don't apologize. You've got no reason to. [ Sharon isn't a big fan of needless apologies, though she's starting to pick up on the fact that Chizuru might assign herself blame beyond just this breakup. ]
Take your time, think it over, and... If you need any advice or even just someone to talk to, you can give me a call.
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[ Though Chizuru acting upon it is a different matter entirely - especially when she often feels so guilty for reaching out to people.
There's no doubt in her mind though that it's kind of the other to offer in the first place. ]
.. thank you.
[ They're two very soft words, and then Chizuru hangs up. She probably needs a moment to try and breathe to calm herself down, maybe cry a little now no one can hear. ]