1. good to hear! if ur days get bad or smth let me know ok? u can stop by my place and take a breather.
( interesting enough, her treehouse is a very nice place for self-care and for the mental health. her omen made sure to have her home filled with nice incense, paintings with quotes, cozy lighting at night, and who knows what else. her spider monkey is more of her emotional/service animal than anything. he would rather take care of jinx than physical fight in battle. but when push comes to shove, he will. )
2. huh. i wont give up hope. ive been told i was here a few times before?? but i dont remember it. theyll show up.
3. u THINK ure 20? wait. are u actually in the hundreds but just forgot over time? are u immortal?
no it is a little more complicated than that i suppose
[ Re: that last thing, that is. It feels like the most pressing thing for Chizuru to reply to here, though her thoughts do linger for a moment on how kind it is that Jinx is offering to share her space with Chizuru when she needs it..
Maybe she'll have to take her up on the offer one day. I-If Chizuru ever feels up to actually asking other people for help without being a burden, anyway.
But the last part is definitely what requires more explanation, since she doesn't want to accidentally give Jinx the wrong idea. ]
it is just that my parents died when i was very young young enough that i do not even remember their faces or what they were like and i was also taken away from where i lived with them so i do not really have anything to remind me of how old i am or anyone who knows for sure my adoptive father told me my age from which i figure i am probably twenty now but i am not sure if he even knew for sure what my age was
[ Even if some people say she looks a little younger than she really is. S-She can't help having a bit of a babyface..!!
Though Chizuru is aware there's something much more important to focus on now. ]
i am sorry to hear that you went through the same thing too of course i do not know what it was like for you but to me it feels a little strange when you know you had a father and a mother and you do not even know what they looked like
The answer is a little short, and with how meek Chizuru is, it kind of makes her want to dive back into a shell like a turtle. Did she say too much? Maybe Jinx doesn't want to talk about this. Maybe she's only hurting the other.
Chizuru's thoughts spin themselves into a panic, and it takes a few moments before she writes back a reply, hoping that maybe this topic is a little bit better for the other then - as Chizuru quickly shoves her own worries about her parents under the rug. Maybe it's better to not talk about those after all. ]
i am glad you have a new one then you deserve people who care about you
that is why i hope things between you and your sister will end up okay too you also deserve each others care this place is really scary on your own after all and it can also be kind of lonely that way
[ There's a bit of topic dodging going on here, isn't there.
Chizuru is pretty sure she's spotting some of it, anyway, though she doesn't call it out, especially after the internal kicked puppy response she had only a moment ago. Try to focus on the good here, she tells herself. ]
would that not be a bother though? i am pretty sure you probably have your own stuff to deal with what if you would not have time to protect me? what if i showed up at a bad moment? i would not want you to think of me as annoying
How does she properly express the strength of this statement. What was she told to use again in these situations-- ]
!
!!
!!!!!!!!!!
[ Nailed it. She is becoming a texting genius just yet. ]
but as long as you are sure i would love to come over whenever maybe i could bring something to eat too if it is not during some pressing dangerous time
i spent a lot of times doing stake outs back home. having to ppl watch b/c i have to. but w/ u? i got to be careful. b/c looking at u, i get rly lost and distracted.
( oh she is giggling madly over the texts she sent. and jinx can't wait to know what her reaction to THAT is. it's going to be so lovely to read. )
id love that! we can have some girl talk. brush each others hair. give out beauty tips. just normal girl things. and ill keep my hands to myself too. pinky promise.
i think it will be hard to both keep your hands to yourself and brush my hair though you need hands to hold brushes after all
[ .. thanks for pointing out the obvious, Chizuru. She's not being pedantic here, though, she just.. figures that maybe it slipped Jinx' mind for a moment! Clearly. Obviously. ]
so you can put your hands near me or on me if you have to after all i trust you miss jinx so i am sure it will be fine
though i am really not sure how i distract you at all is it something i do ? i can stop doing it if that is the case i would never want to make things more difficult for you
[ Apparently half of Jinx' text just went straight over Chizuru's head, huh. Between the hands thing and the 'get lost and distracted' part.. Chizuru is just too pure and genuine to think about it any other way. ]
( oh. if jinx was really diabolical. but luckily for chizuru, jinx has a heart despite being a mass murder. strange how a person can have both things. and it possibly why people tend to be split when it comes to jinx. she is a monster but on another hand, she can be kind, too. )
Hang on. There's not a super long delay before the next text arrives, but there's definitely a small one, like Chizuru had to suddenly think about something.. or realise something.
[ There's a small pause. Maybe Chizuru is thinking about it, because she kind of realises Jinx is already giving away the reason in the rest of what she says, right..?
[ There's a few moments of nothing. Maybe it might even seem like Chizuru gave up on the idea of replying at all, but that's definitely not what's going on here.
No, instead the girl is staring at this text for a long, long time, trying to figure out the proper response to it - but then she does write something and sends it. ]
alright i think i understand
in that case i promise i will endeavour to think of myself as cute i am not sure if i will be able to do it right away since it is a little hard for me but if it is so important to you then i will do my absolute best miss jinx i promise
[ MAYBE.. A LITTLE TOO FORMAL.. But look, she took Jinx's text extremely seriously, okay, and Chizuru can't ever ignore another person's feelings. So if this is important to Jinx - then she'll make it important to herself as well. ]
whats important is that u having confidence in urself. which is what im trying to work u towards. i use to not believe in myself and( ... )i was the worst w/ everything. none of my shit worked and i thought i was just in a way of things.
and weak.
pathetic.
and worthless.
but then i got tired of feeling like that. i wanted to prove to everyone that i can be tough, fearful, and good at every lil thing that i do. so. i worked hard and believed in myself.
now here i am! several years and kicking ass later.
so u thinking ure not attractive or maybe less than everyone else in whatev u think about urself in, ure wrong.
i know and can read ppl. i kinda had to w/ the line of work i use to do. ure a good egg, girlie. and this is probably the last time u'll hear me get gross and sappy. so u better save this message!!
[ .. Chizuru definitely spends a moment thinking about whether or not that message is truly that gross or sappy..
But then she does realise that's not really the point, instead thinking about everything else mentioned here. Mulling it over, chewing her lower lip as she's thinking, considering she wants to give a serious answer.
And an honest answer. If Jinx doesn't want her to lie, then Chizuru will do her best to be honest. ]
i do not think i am worthless yes i know there are many things in which i cannot compare to other people but there are one or two things i can do right
[ Look, it's.. not a great sense of self worth, but it's a beginning, right? She's trying. ]
i do not think something like a worthless person exists in this world or any world out there you have always had worth miss jinx as do i i do not think i need to find myself attractive to realise i have some worth i mean not everyone out there can be attractive probably
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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( interesting enough, her treehouse is a very nice place for self-care and for the mental health. her omen made sure to have her home filled with nice incense, paintings with quotes, cozy lighting at night, and who knows what else. her spider monkey is more of her emotional/service animal than anything. he would rather take care of jinx than physical fight in battle. but when push comes to shove, he will. )
2. huh. i wont give up hope. ive been told i was here a few times before?? but i dont remember it. theyll show up.
3. u THINK ure 20? wait. are u actually in the hundreds but just forgot over time? are u immortal?
cw: mention of parental death
it is a little more complicated than that i suppose
[ Re: that last thing, that is. It feels like the most pressing thing for Chizuru to reply to here, though her thoughts do linger for a moment on how kind it is that Jinx is offering to share her space with Chizuru when she needs it..
Maybe she'll have to take her up on the offer one day. I-If Chizuru ever feels up to actually asking other people for help without being a burden, anyway.
But the last part is definitely what requires more explanation, since she doesn't want to accidentally give Jinx the wrong idea. ]
it is just that my parents died when i was very young
young enough that i do not even remember their faces or what they were like
and i was also taken away from where i lived with them
so i do not really have anything to remind me of how old i am
or anyone who knows for sure
my adoptive father told me my age from which i figure i am probably twenty now but i am not sure if he even knew for sure what my age was
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( a pause but then she types again: )
my parents died when i was young too.
dont rly remember their faces either.
vi prob remembers them more than me.
idk by the looks of u. u look like ure around my age. im 18. so 20 sounds good to me.
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that feels about right to me too
[ Even if some people say she looks a little younger than she really is. S-She can't help having a bit of a babyface..!!
Though Chizuru is aware there's something much more important to focus on now. ]
i am sorry to hear that you went through the same thing too
of course i do not know what it was like for you
but to me it feels a little strange when you know you had a father and a mother and you do not even know what they looked like
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i have a new pops so. its fine.
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The answer is a little short, and with how meek Chizuru is, it kind of makes her want to dive back into a shell like a turtle. Did she say too much? Maybe Jinx doesn't want to talk about this. Maybe she's only hurting the other.
Chizuru's thoughts spin themselves into a panic, and it takes a few moments before she writes back a reply, hoping that maybe this topic is a little bit better for the other then - as Chizuru quickly shoves her own worries about her parents under the rug. Maybe it's better to not talk about those after all. ]
i am glad you have a new one then
you deserve people who care about you
that is why i hope things between you and your sister will end up okay too
you also deserve each others care
this place is really scary on your own after all
and it can also be kind of lonely that way
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in fact
this place should fear me.
but
if u ever get scared, u can run to me.
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Chizuru is pretty sure she's spotting some of it, anyway, though she doesn't call it out, especially after the internal kicked puppy response she had only a moment ago. Try to focus on the good here, she tells herself. ]
would that not be a bother though?
i am pretty sure you probably have your own stuff to deal with
what if you would not have time to protect me?
what if i showed up at a bad moment?
i would not want you to think of me as annoying
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i have plenty of room for u, dont worry with that pretty face of urs. thats how u get wrinkles u know.
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[ Oh, gosh.
How does she properly express the strength of this statement. What was she told to use again in these situations-- ]
!
!!
!!!!!!!!!!
[ Nailed it. She is becoming a texting genius just yet. ]
but as long as you are sure
i would love to come over whenever
maybe i could bring something to eat too if it is not during some pressing dangerous time
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but w/ u?
i got to be careful.
b/c looking at u, i get rly lost and distracted.
( oh she is giggling madly over the texts she sent. and jinx can't wait to know what her reaction to THAT is. it's going to be so lovely to read. )
id love that!
we can have some girl talk. brush each others hair. give out beauty tips. just normal girl things.
and ill keep my hands to myself too. pinky promise.
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you need hands to hold brushes after all
[ .. thanks for pointing out the obvious, Chizuru. She's not being pedantic here, though, she just.. figures that maybe it slipped Jinx' mind for a moment! Clearly. Obviously. ]
so you can put your hands near me
or on me if you have to
after all i trust you miss jinx so i am sure it will be fine
though i am really not sure how i distract you at all
is it something i do
?
i can stop doing it if that is the case
i would never want to make things more difficult for you
[ Apparently half of Jinx' text just went straight over Chizuru's head, huh. Between the hands thing and the 'get lost and distracted' part.. Chizuru is just too pure and genuine to think about it any other way. ]
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u rly dont know what flirting is do u?
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Hang on. There's not a super long delay before the next text arrives, but there's definitely a small one, like Chizuru had to suddenly think about something.. or realise something.
Or just reread that last text once more. ]
were you flirting with me
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why were you flirting with me
[ There's a small pause. Maybe Chizuru is thinking about it, because she kind of realises Jinx is already giving away the reason in the rest of what she says, right..?
But maybe she doesn't want to think about that. ]
just to mess with me
?
[ To put it in Jinx's own words. ]
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also i think everyone would react like that if you told them things like that
i cannot be unique in that
it is all just very flustering to hear
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im up for the challenge.
i have nothing but time here.
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then i would like to ask why it is so important for me to accept it
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ppl will lie about anything and to anyone as long it benefits them.
im not like them. im different. always been. so when i say ure cute, i mean it. and smth u shouldnt take too lightly.
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No, instead the girl is staring at this text for a long, long time, trying to figure out the proper response to it - but then she does write something and sends it. ]
alright
i think i understand
in that case i promise i will endeavour to think of myself as cute
i am not sure if i will be able to do it right away since it is a little hard for me
but if it is so important to you then i will do my absolute best miss jinx
i promise
[ MAYBE.. A LITTLE TOO FORMAL.. But look, she took Jinx's text extremely seriously, okay, and Chizuru can't ever ignore another person's feelings. So if this is important to Jinx - then she'll make it important to herself as well. ]
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whats important is that u having confidence in urself. which is what im trying to work u towards. i use to not believe in myself and ( ... ) i was the worst w/ everything. none of my shit worked and i thought i was just in a way of things.
and weak.
pathetic.
and worthless.
but then i got tired of feeling like that. i wanted to prove to everyone that i can be tough, fearful, and good at every lil thing that i do. so. i worked hard and believed in myself.
now here i am! several years and kicking ass later.
so u thinking ure not attractive or maybe less than everyone else in whatev u think about urself in, ure wrong.
i know and can read ppl. i kinda had to w/ the line of work i use to do. ure a good egg, girlie. and this is probably the last time u'll hear me get gross and sappy. so u better save this message!!
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But then she does realise that's not really the point, instead thinking about everything else mentioned here. Mulling it over, chewing her lower lip as she's thinking, considering she wants to give a serious answer.
And an honest answer. If Jinx doesn't want her to lie, then Chizuru will do her best to be honest. ]
i do not think i am worthless
yes i know there are many things in which i cannot compare to other people
but there are one or two things i can do right
[ Look, it's.. not a great sense of self worth, but it's a beginning, right? She's trying. ]
i do not think something like a worthless person exists in this world
or any world out there
you have always had worth miss jinx
as do i
i do not think i need to find myself attractive to realise i have some worth
i mean not everyone out there can be attractive
probably
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cw: mention of noncon and murder, though not explicit
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