[ Jinx is doing a great job at making him sound presentable here - and the fact that Chizuru is so inclined to see the very best in people helps that right along to form an actually pretty good image of him in Chizuru's mind, regardless of how much it might actually line up with the reality of things.
After all, with the specific way Jinx is saying all of this, it makes him sound like-- ]
He sounds like some of the people I know back home.
[ Especially Hijikata, Chizuru thinks. She's been missing him, and it sounds like it's for similar reasons that Jinx misses Silco, even if that's more of a paternal thing than a crush thing like in Chizuru's case.. But the guidance from them, the admiration for them - it sounds very similar. ]
I think.. that if you don't know people very well, it's easy to misunderstand their intentions. Miss Vi and that Ekko person must not know him as well as you did. [ Or so Chizuru assumes, anyway.
Besides, how could Silco be a truly bad person if he was caring so well for Jinx? ]
( there's a smile there when she says those words but sadly, it slowly fades away as she turns back on her side. jinx nuzzles against her legs with her eyes dart down to her wooden floors. )
... He's also a liar.
( she words this bluntly and there's hurt mixed in, too. )
For years, I thought... Vi died when we separated. But all that time, she was arrested. Silco said he didn't knew but when he found out, he purposely tried to keep that from me. To keep us apart.
( a pause as she rubs her cheek more into her. )
He said he lied 'cuz he wanted to protect me. That Vi and the Enforcer were only after the crystal I took. She wasn't lookin' for me. But Vi, even now, still says it wasn't about that. She gave me the crystal back just a few days ago.
( in her voice, it sounds she is trying to not cry again -- she's holding it together but there's quivering in her speech. )
He got offered a deal to turn me in to Piltover and he... he looked like he was considering giving me up. But then before he — ( a beat; rewording. ) — But he said he would never do that. ... I believe him but. He told me Vi would hate the way I am now if she spent a single day with me.
It's been months and she's... still here with me. Was everything he said a lie?
[ Honestly, it's hard for Chizuru to make a judgement here. She doesn't know the person Jinx is talking about, after all - and even Jinx's own perspective seems.. complicated, like she's stuck right in the middle of two wildly different thoughts about the man, swinging back and forth without being able to land on one and stick with it.
It leaves her quiet for a moment, one of her fingers idly twirling some of Jinx's hair around itself, humming lightly in consideration.
When she speaks up again, her voice is soft. ]
What do you think?
[ Was everything a lie? Wasn't it?
Isn't that something Jinx has to decide for herself? ]
( what does she think? honestly, way too much. there's so many thoughts that overlap the other; that contradicts the other. and with the dead chiming in with their own opinions, it's hard to make up her mind. so she replies with a small shrug and her tone to match her softness. )
I dunno. ... I dunno what to think of anything. If he's been lying or if Vi's been lying o-or both. ( a pause; again sounding so broken. ) I'd hope being in a place like this the answer would jump right at me, but... I'm still confused.
Ya'll say the past is the past but it's hard to put it behind ya when it's always in your face.
Well.. It's not like you need to have the past figured out so neatly or quickly either. [ Chizuru gently assures.
Especially when said past sounds so complicated. Or perhaps multi-faceted is a better word. Where Jinx can see so many sides to everything, or hears about so many sides to anything, that it gets hard to realise what's the truth anymore. Or what she should believe.
It's not a position Chizuru envies, and for now she does all she can do - just hold Jinx, just let the other lie in her lap like this, Chizuru's hand playing with the blue hair. Even if she can't sort out the other girl's past for her, she can at least comfort her. ]
And if we have anything here.. It's time, right?
[ Especially now Chizuru knows people don't leave here so quickly. She's slowly inching closer to the point where she's been here for a year already, and she's well aware of this fact. ]
You can slowly think about it. And slowly figure it out. If anyone expects you to suddenly have a quick answer and you don't, just come flee to me, alright? [ Because Chizuru knows she herself would never have such expectations of Jinx. She wouldn't want to put that sort of pressure on her shoulders. ] Then we can figure it out together. Or you can just try to calm down with me.
[ Look, if Chizuru is going to be the trial girlfriend, this service is the least she can offer.
It's something she wants to be able to do for the other in the first place, anyway. ]
... Same goes for you, okay? Promise you'll run to me if somethin' or someone treats you the way you don't like?
( she shifts one more time to peer up at the other girl; this time with a warm smile on her face. jinx seems to be doing a lot better and in a more healthier mental state from moments ago. it continues to amaze her that simply sitting down and communicating can really do wonders in situations. and hopefully, she'll remember to do that when she is in a heated and sudden moment. )
yes!! we can probably wrap it up here or with your tag, they can just have stayed comfy c:
[ Granted, it'll take a lot before Chizuru is truly at the point where she thinks that she really doesn't like something.. so even though she will keep herself to that promise, some may say she should probably go to Jinx a little earlier than that. She just puts up with too much.
Still, since Chizuru herself very much means this promise, she just smiles down at Jinx. ]
Though I don't think there's much you have to worry about here. Everyone is really nice to me.
cozy and comfy until the end of time. or jinx fucks something up.
( now feeling so much at ease, jinx continues to rest against her with every so often idling talking about nothing. the lovely cozy lofi christmas music resumes on and her spider monkey, also, relaxes and enjoys the atmosphere that's being set.
next month will be a different ball game when the two of them become official. and jinx can only hope her "jinx" won't make a mess of things. maybe it will, maybe it won't. looks like she will have to wait and see. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
After all, with the specific way Jinx is saying all of this, it makes him sound like-- ]
He sounds like some of the people I know back home.
[ Especially Hijikata, Chizuru thinks. She's been missing him, and it sounds like it's for similar reasons that Jinx misses Silco, even if that's more of a paternal thing than a crush thing like in Chizuru's case.. But the guidance from them, the admiration for them - it sounds very similar. ]
I think.. that if you don't know people very well, it's easy to misunderstand their intentions. Miss Vi and that Ekko person must not know him as well as you did. [ Or so Chizuru assumes, anyway.
Besides, how could Silco be a truly bad person if he was caring so well for Jinx? ]
no subject
... He's also a liar.
( she words this bluntly and there's hurt mixed in, too. )
For years, I thought... Vi died when we separated. But all that time, she was arrested. Silco said he didn't knew but when he found out, he purposely tried to keep that from me. To keep us apart.
( a pause as she rubs her cheek more into her. )
He said he lied 'cuz he wanted to protect me. That Vi and the Enforcer were only after the crystal I took. She wasn't lookin' for me. But Vi, even now, still says it wasn't about that. She gave me the crystal back just a few days ago.
( in her voice, it sounds she is trying to not cry again -- she's holding it together but there's quivering in her speech. )
He got offered a deal to turn me in to Piltover and he... he looked like he was considering giving me up. But then before he — ( a beat; rewording. ) — But he said he would never do that. ... I believe him but. He told me Vi would hate the way I am now if she spent a single day with me.
It's been months and she's... still here with me. Was everything he said a lie?
no subject
It leaves her quiet for a moment, one of her fingers idly twirling some of Jinx's hair around itself, humming lightly in consideration.
When she speaks up again, her voice is soft. ]
What do you think?
[ Was everything a lie? Wasn't it?
Isn't that something Jinx has to decide for herself? ]
no subject
I dunno. ... I dunno what to think of anything. If he's been lying or if Vi's been lying o-or both. ( a pause; again sounding so broken. ) I'd hope being in a place like this the answer would jump right at me, but... I'm still confused.
Ya'll say the past is the past but it's hard to put it behind ya when it's always in your face.
no subject
Especially when said past sounds so complicated. Or perhaps multi-faceted is a better word. Where Jinx can see so many sides to everything, or hears about so many sides to anything, that it gets hard to realise what's the truth anymore. Or what she should believe.
It's not a position Chizuru envies, and for now she does all she can do - just hold Jinx, just let the other lie in her lap like this, Chizuru's hand playing with the blue hair. Even if she can't sort out the other girl's past for her, she can at least comfort her. ]
And if we have anything here.. It's time, right?
[ Especially now Chizuru knows people don't leave here so quickly. She's slowly inching closer to the point where she's been here for a year already, and she's well aware of this fact. ]
You can slowly think about it. And slowly figure it out. If anyone expects you to suddenly have a quick answer and you don't, just come flee to me, alright? [ Because Chizuru knows she herself would never have such expectations of Jinx. She wouldn't want to put that sort of pressure on her shoulders. ] Then we can figure it out together. Or you can just try to calm down with me.
[ Look, if Chizuru is going to be the trial girlfriend, this service is the least she can offer.
It's something she wants to be able to do for the other in the first place, anyway. ]
END SOON???
( she shifts one more time to peer up at the other girl; this time with a warm smile on her face. jinx seems to be doing a lot better and in a more healthier mental state from moments ago. it continues to amaze her that simply sitting down and communicating can really do wonders in situations. and hopefully, she'll remember to do that when she is in a heated and sudden moment. )
yes!! we can probably wrap it up here or with your tag, they can just have stayed comfy c:
[ Granted, it'll take a lot before Chizuru is truly at the point where she thinks that she really doesn't like something.. so even though she will keep herself to that promise, some may say she should probably go to Jinx a little earlier than that. She just puts up with too much.
Still, since Chizuru herself very much means this promise, she just smiles down at Jinx. ]
Though I don't think there's much you have to worry about here. Everyone is really nice to me.
cozy and comfy until the end of time. or jinx fucks something up.
( now feeling so much at ease, jinx continues to rest against her with every so often idling talking about nothing. the lovely cozy lofi christmas music resumes on and her spider monkey, also, relaxes and enjoys the atmosphere that's being set.
next month will be a different ball game when the two of them become official. and jinx can only hope her "jinx" won't make a mess of things. maybe it will, maybe it won't. looks like she will have to wait and see. )