[ Her voice is soft, like she doesn't want to break the mood here by raising it to a volume that feels too loud for a moment that's so tender. Still, her approval sounds very genuine. Chizuru doesn't mind.
Especially since it might help Jinx feel a little better. At least her crying seems to have calmed down a bit already.. ]
( jinx finally break their embrace but only so she can rest her head on her lap. she exhales a soft sigh and drying away any leftover tears before she sings: )
♪ Dear friend, Across the river. My hands are cold and bare. Dear friend, Across the river. I'll take what you can spare.
I ask of you a penny, My fortune, it will be. I ask you without envy, We build no mighty towers. Our homes are made of stone, So come across the river, And find the world below. ♪
[ This time Chizuru is the one who's quiet as she listens to Jinx. She shifts a little so the other can lie on her lap a little more comfortably, but then stills once she's pretty sure she's in a good position for it. Her hand slowly, almost lazily, moves through Jinx's hair while listening.
.. she wonders if she could see it, if she were to close her eyes, despite never having been there. The place Jinx comes from, the place she's singing about. One world divided into two. A song that almost holds some sort of longing in it - not entirely like the Jinx that the other shows to the world, but Chizuru thinks there may be a piece of the other in it all the same.
Even when the song ends, she's quiet for a moment or two, and then she slowly speaks. Her hand keeps moving. ]
It's a nice song. [ That feels most important to say first. It's like thanking Jinx for singing in the first place, even though she's heard it before thanks to the coldblood curse going around - but this song sure is different. ] .. though also a little sad, when it isn't answered.
Topsiders didn't give a crap about us. What was important to them was their image and how they looked to the rest of the world.
( a small sigh as she nuzzles her cheek more onto her knees; shutting her eyes as chizuru caresses her head. )
Pretended we didn't exist whenever we called for help. Or came down when they thought we were outta line. My family and I got shoved around, been patted down whenever they thought we did somethin' or stolen somethin'. Even when we didn't, it's not like they apologized. To them? We still deserved whatever what was comin' to us.
( jinx shifts carefully so she can look up at the other girl with a bittersweet smile. )
But it's not like that here. I'm glad for it but... I dunno, a lil' homesick, too. Is that weird?
[ It's a simple answer, but it feels better to address that part rather than anything else that came before it. Not that Chizuru doesn't feel for the way Jinx and her family have been treated - it's awful, and they should have had so many better things - but she doesn't want to linger on anything too negative in this moment.
This moment is meant to calm Jinx's feelings down a little, after all, rather than rile them up all over again. ]
Isn't it only natural? This place.. It's so different from any of our homes. [ Chizuru is definitely speaking from experience there. Going from Edo or Kyoto to Trench has been a huge culture shock, in so many ways. ] Of course we'd still long back for what's familiar to us.
[ Her hand still moves, gently caressing Jinx even as she speaks. ]
Even if we'd get used to being here.. I think a small part of us will always think about home anyway. It's just how people work.
[ Chizuru sounds a lot more mature when she's just speaking calmly like this too, rather than her usual shy squeaking. ]
( and it's this moment when possibly their true selves are out on the open. jinx enjoys teasing the hell out of chizuru to the point she's red and squealing. and jinx will even stand proud with her chest out and act like a complete tyrant while chizuru is clueless to modern customs. but underneath all of those layers, jinx is still young. sure, chizuru is only a few years older than her but the other girl had only turned eighteen just a few months ago.
jinx is smart when it comes to building scraps into something extraordinary, however, she is also horribly immature. there's so much she has yet to learn. and even with the patrons throwing the townsfolks into situations where they can acquire new knowledge, jinx had admitted to absorb nothing. and having someone like chizuru, who is wiser in a few places, maybe she will finally sit put and listen since there's some interest lingering there. )
Hmm.
( feeling truly at peace, the blue-haired girl shut her eyes to take in more of the other girl's petting. )
I sorta wish some of 'em were here, too. Food here is better... I'd think they'll like it.
[ She takes the answer in with a small smile, but then speaks up again. ]
Who would you want to be here the most?
[ Granted, that can be a hard question, depending on the circumstances. Chizuru can think of quite a few people she'd like to see again - but she'd feel guilty if she had to point out who she'd want to see the most. It'd feel a little too much like betraying all the other people important to her to only name one.
But she figures this situation is lowkey enough - and Jinx perhaps a little less fussy about things like politeness - that she can ask, her hand still moving. ]
I mean, you're going to have to introduce me anyway when new people from your world show up. [ Especially if it's within the trial dating period they just decided on.. Can't not get to know Jinx's girlfriend when you care about Jinx, right. ] So you might as well get a head start now.
( she says this without a second thought. the temperature in the room seems to be warming up steadily and her eyes flutter open -- peering up to her. )
He was here once actually. I dunno for how long but... I saw him briefly 'till he, uh, went back to the ocean. His name is Silco. Have you met him?
She just didn't get his name, and without having a face to match it with, she has no idea. It had only been a brief encounter too, many months ago - there's no way she's thinking about it now, while she's looking down at the other girl lying on her lap. ]
Tell me about him.
[ Sure, Chizuru's relationship with her dad may be.. Complicated, that's for sure, but she assumes Jinx must have a better relationship with her own, or she wouldn't bring him up here. ]
( she huffs out a bashful chuckle while tapping her fingers on her stomach. ) Sheesh, where to start with him, huh?
( because there's so much about silco just like there's so much about vi. but she'll do her very best to make him sound presentable. )
Well, a lotta people think he's rough. And he kinda is. A strong voice who is all about business and gettin' stuff done. But I see that as a good thing. I lose focus a lot and he is able to keep his eye on the prize. He, uh, helps me with that whenever I get — ( she lightly lifts up a hand and does a silly wave around motion with it -- indicating how all over the place she can get. )
( with her hand back on her stomach, she continues: )
He's all about lessons so he'd be great here 'cuz the Patrons-whatevers are like that, too. They're sooooo long and borin', but... now I kinda wish I could hear one from him.
( her tone quiets more. )
... People think he's terrible 'cuz his dream deals with the harsh reality of things. And yeah, he's done things that meant other people will get badly hurt in the process. But he did those things so I'd have a happier life, for my people to have a better life, and so my city can raise up from the stupid richie Topsiders who treated us like slugs.
( the sigh that leaves her; a mixture of defeat but frustration, too. )
Vi hates him, Ekko hates him. They think he's some kind of monster when he isn't. He has a heart, he cares. ... He took care of me when I had no one else and when I was alone. He and I did what we had to do for the good of our people and I just wish they could see that.
[ Jinx is doing a great job at making him sound presentable here - and the fact that Chizuru is so inclined to see the very best in people helps that right along to form an actually pretty good image of him in Chizuru's mind, regardless of how much it might actually line up with the reality of things.
After all, with the specific way Jinx is saying all of this, it makes him sound like-- ]
He sounds like some of the people I know back home.
[ Especially Hijikata, Chizuru thinks. She's been missing him, and it sounds like it's for similar reasons that Jinx misses Silco, even if that's more of a paternal thing than a crush thing like in Chizuru's case.. But the guidance from them, the admiration for them - it sounds very similar. ]
I think.. that if you don't know people very well, it's easy to misunderstand their intentions. Miss Vi and that Ekko person must not know him as well as you did. [ Or so Chizuru assumes, anyway.
Besides, how could Silco be a truly bad person if he was caring so well for Jinx? ]
( there's a smile there when she says those words but sadly, it slowly fades away as she turns back on her side. jinx nuzzles against her legs with her eyes dart down to her wooden floors. )
... He's also a liar.
( she words this bluntly and there's hurt mixed in, too. )
For years, I thought... Vi died when we separated. But all that time, she was arrested. Silco said he didn't knew but when he found out, he purposely tried to keep that from me. To keep us apart.
( a pause as she rubs her cheek more into her. )
He said he lied 'cuz he wanted to protect me. That Vi and the Enforcer were only after the crystal I took. She wasn't lookin' for me. But Vi, even now, still says it wasn't about that. She gave me the crystal back just a few days ago.
( in her voice, it sounds she is trying to not cry again -- she's holding it together but there's quivering in her speech. )
He got offered a deal to turn me in to Piltover and he... he looked like he was considering giving me up. But then before he — ( a beat; rewording. ) — But he said he would never do that. ... I believe him but. He told me Vi would hate the way I am now if she spent a single day with me.
It's been months and she's... still here with me. Was everything he said a lie?
[ Honestly, it's hard for Chizuru to make a judgement here. She doesn't know the person Jinx is talking about, after all - and even Jinx's own perspective seems.. complicated, like she's stuck right in the middle of two wildly different thoughts about the man, swinging back and forth without being able to land on one and stick with it.
It leaves her quiet for a moment, one of her fingers idly twirling some of Jinx's hair around itself, humming lightly in consideration.
When she speaks up again, her voice is soft. ]
What do you think?
[ Was everything a lie? Wasn't it?
Isn't that something Jinx has to decide for herself? ]
( what does she think? honestly, way too much. there's so many thoughts that overlap the other; that contradicts the other. and with the dead chiming in with their own opinions, it's hard to make up her mind. so she replies with a small shrug and her tone to match her softness. )
I dunno. ... I dunno what to think of anything. If he's been lying or if Vi's been lying o-or both. ( a pause; again sounding so broken. ) I'd hope being in a place like this the answer would jump right at me, but... I'm still confused.
Ya'll say the past is the past but it's hard to put it behind ya when it's always in your face.
Well.. It's not like you need to have the past figured out so neatly or quickly either. [ Chizuru gently assures.
Especially when said past sounds so complicated. Or perhaps multi-faceted is a better word. Where Jinx can see so many sides to everything, or hears about so many sides to anything, that it gets hard to realise what's the truth anymore. Or what she should believe.
It's not a position Chizuru envies, and for now she does all she can do - just hold Jinx, just let the other lie in her lap like this, Chizuru's hand playing with the blue hair. Even if she can't sort out the other girl's past for her, she can at least comfort her. ]
And if we have anything here.. It's time, right?
[ Especially now Chizuru knows people don't leave here so quickly. She's slowly inching closer to the point where she's been here for a year already, and she's well aware of this fact. ]
You can slowly think about it. And slowly figure it out. If anyone expects you to suddenly have a quick answer and you don't, just come flee to me, alright? [ Because Chizuru knows she herself would never have such expectations of Jinx. She wouldn't want to put that sort of pressure on her shoulders. ] Then we can figure it out together. Or you can just try to calm down with me.
[ Look, if Chizuru is going to be the trial girlfriend, this service is the least she can offer.
It's something she wants to be able to do for the other in the first place, anyway. ]
... Same goes for you, okay? Promise you'll run to me if somethin' or someone treats you the way you don't like?
( she shifts one more time to peer up at the other girl; this time with a warm smile on her face. jinx seems to be doing a lot better and in a more healthier mental state from moments ago. it continues to amaze her that simply sitting down and communicating can really do wonders in situations. and hopefully, she'll remember to do that when she is in a heated and sudden moment. )
yes!! we can probably wrap it up here or with your tag, they can just have stayed comfy c:
[ Granted, it'll take a lot before Chizuru is truly at the point where she thinks that she really doesn't like something.. so even though she will keep herself to that promise, some may say she should probably go to Jinx a little earlier than that. She just puts up with too much.
Still, since Chizuru herself very much means this promise, she just smiles down at Jinx. ]
Though I don't think there's much you have to worry about here. Everyone is really nice to me.
cozy and comfy until the end of time. or jinx fucks something up.
( now feeling so much at ease, jinx continues to rest against her with every so often idling talking about nothing. the lovely cozy lofi christmas music resumes on and her spider monkey, also, relaxes and enjoys the atmosphere that's being set.
next month will be a different ball game when the two of them become official. and jinx can only hope her "jinx" won't make a mess of things. maybe it will, maybe it won't. looks like she will have to wait and see. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Her voice is soft, like she doesn't want to break the mood here by raising it to a volume that feels too loud for a moment that's so tender. Still, her approval sounds very genuine. Chizuru doesn't mind.
Especially since it might help Jinx feel a little better. At least her crying seems to have calmed down a bit already.. ]
You can sing. I'll listen.
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♪ Dear friend,
Across the river.
My hands are cold and bare.
Dear friend,
Across the river.
I'll take what you can spare.
I ask of you a penny,
My fortune, it will be.
I ask you without envy,
We build no mighty towers.
Our homes are made of stone,
So come across the river,
And find the world below. ♪
no subject
.. she wonders if she could see it, if she were to close her eyes, despite never having been there. The place Jinx comes from, the place she's singing about. One world divided into two. A song that almost holds some sort of longing in it - not entirely like the Jinx that the other shows to the world, but Chizuru thinks there may be a piece of the other in it all the same.
Even when the song ends, she's quiet for a moment or two, and then she slowly speaks. Her hand keeps moving. ]
It's a nice song. [ That feels most important to say first. It's like thanking Jinx for singing in the first place, even though she's heard it before thanks to the coldblood curse going around - but this song sure is different. ] .. though also a little sad, when it isn't answered.
[ And Jinx already said it wasn't. ]
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( a small sigh as she nuzzles her cheek more onto her knees; shutting her eyes as chizuru caresses her head. )
Pretended we didn't exist whenever we called for help. Or came down when they thought we were outta line. My family and I got shoved around, been patted down whenever they thought we did somethin' or stolen somethin'. Even when we didn't, it's not like they apologized. To them? We still deserved whatever what was comin' to us.
( jinx shifts carefully so she can look up at the other girl with a bittersweet smile. )
But it's not like that here. I'm glad for it but... I dunno, a lil' homesick, too. Is that weird?
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[ It's a simple answer, but it feels better to address that part rather than anything else that came before it. Not that Chizuru doesn't feel for the way Jinx and her family have been treated - it's awful, and they should have had so many better things - but she doesn't want to linger on anything too negative in this moment.
This moment is meant to calm Jinx's feelings down a little, after all, rather than rile them up all over again. ]
Isn't it only natural? This place.. It's so different from any of our homes. [ Chizuru is definitely speaking from experience there. Going from Edo or Kyoto to Trench has been a huge culture shock, in so many ways. ] Of course we'd still long back for what's familiar to us.
[ Her hand still moves, gently caressing Jinx even as she speaks. ]
Even if we'd get used to being here.. I think a small part of us will always think about home anyway. It's just how people work.
[ Chizuru sounds a lot more mature when she's just speaking calmly like this too, rather than her usual shy squeaking. ]
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jinx is smart when it comes to building scraps into something extraordinary, however, she is also horribly immature. there's so much she has yet to learn. and even with the patrons throwing the townsfolks into situations where they can acquire new knowledge, jinx had admitted to absorb nothing. and having someone like chizuru, who is wiser in a few places, maybe she will finally sit put and listen since there's some interest lingering there. )
Hmm.
( feeling truly at peace, the blue-haired girl shut her eyes to take in more of the other girl's petting. )
I sorta wish some of 'em were here, too. Food here is better... I'd think they'll like it.
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Who would you want to be here the most?
[ Granted, that can be a hard question, depending on the circumstances. Chizuru can think of quite a few people she'd like to see again - but she'd feel guilty if she had to point out who she'd want to see the most. It'd feel a little too much like betraying all the other people important to her to only name one.
But she figures this situation is lowkey enough - and Jinx perhaps a little less fussy about things like politeness - that she can ask, her hand still moving. ]
I mean, you're going to have to introduce me anyway when new people from your world show up. [ Especially if it's within the trial dating period they just decided on.. Can't not get to know Jinx's girlfriend when you care about Jinx, right. ] So you might as well get a head start now.
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( she says this without a second thought. the temperature in the room seems to be warming up steadily and her eyes flutter open -- peering up to her. )
He was here once actually. I dunno for how long but... I saw him briefly 'till he, uh, went back to the ocean. His name is Silco. Have you met him?
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She just didn't get his name, and without having a face to match it with, she has no idea. It had only been a brief encounter too, many months ago - there's no way she's thinking about it now, while she's looking down at the other girl lying on her lap. ]
Tell me about him.
[ Sure, Chizuru's relationship with her dad may be.. Complicated, that's for sure, but she assumes Jinx must have a better relationship with her own, or she wouldn't bring him up here. ]
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( because there's so much about silco just like there's so much about vi. but she'll do her very best to make him sound presentable. )
Well, a lotta people think he's rough. And he kinda is. A strong voice who is all about business and gettin' stuff done. But I see that as a good thing. I lose focus a lot and he is able to keep his eye on the prize. He, uh, helps me with that whenever I get — ( she lightly lifts up a hand and does a silly wave around motion with it -- indicating how all over the place she can get. )
( with her hand back on her stomach, she continues: )
He's all about lessons so he'd be great here 'cuz the Patrons-whatevers are like that, too. They're sooooo long and borin', but... now I kinda wish I could hear one from him.
( her tone quiets more. )
... People think he's terrible 'cuz his dream deals with the harsh reality of things. And yeah, he's done things that meant other people will get badly hurt in the process. But he did those things so I'd have a happier life, for my people to have a better life, and so my city can raise up from the stupid richie Topsiders who treated us like slugs.
( the sigh that leaves her; a mixture of defeat but frustration, too. )
Vi hates him, Ekko hates him. They think he's some kind of monster when he isn't. He has a heart, he cares. ... He took care of me when I had no one else and when I was alone. He and I did what we had to do for the good of our people and I just wish they could see that.
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After all, with the specific way Jinx is saying all of this, it makes him sound like-- ]
He sounds like some of the people I know back home.
[ Especially Hijikata, Chizuru thinks. She's been missing him, and it sounds like it's for similar reasons that Jinx misses Silco, even if that's more of a paternal thing than a crush thing like in Chizuru's case.. But the guidance from them, the admiration for them - it sounds very similar. ]
I think.. that if you don't know people very well, it's easy to misunderstand their intentions. Miss Vi and that Ekko person must not know him as well as you did. [ Or so Chizuru assumes, anyway.
Besides, how could Silco be a truly bad person if he was caring so well for Jinx? ]
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... He's also a liar.
( she words this bluntly and there's hurt mixed in, too. )
For years, I thought... Vi died when we separated. But all that time, she was arrested. Silco said he didn't knew but when he found out, he purposely tried to keep that from me. To keep us apart.
( a pause as she rubs her cheek more into her. )
He said he lied 'cuz he wanted to protect me. That Vi and the Enforcer were only after the crystal I took. She wasn't lookin' for me. But Vi, even now, still says it wasn't about that. She gave me the crystal back just a few days ago.
( in her voice, it sounds she is trying to not cry again -- she's holding it together but there's quivering in her speech. )
He got offered a deal to turn me in to Piltover and he... he looked like he was considering giving me up. But then before he — ( a beat; rewording. ) — But he said he would never do that. ... I believe him but. He told me Vi would hate the way I am now if she spent a single day with me.
It's been months and she's... still here with me. Was everything he said a lie?
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It leaves her quiet for a moment, one of her fingers idly twirling some of Jinx's hair around itself, humming lightly in consideration.
When she speaks up again, her voice is soft. ]
What do you think?
[ Was everything a lie? Wasn't it?
Isn't that something Jinx has to decide for herself? ]
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I dunno. ... I dunno what to think of anything. If he's been lying or if Vi's been lying o-or both. ( a pause; again sounding so broken. ) I'd hope being in a place like this the answer would jump right at me, but... I'm still confused.
Ya'll say the past is the past but it's hard to put it behind ya when it's always in your face.
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Especially when said past sounds so complicated. Or perhaps multi-faceted is a better word. Where Jinx can see so many sides to everything, or hears about so many sides to anything, that it gets hard to realise what's the truth anymore. Or what she should believe.
It's not a position Chizuru envies, and for now she does all she can do - just hold Jinx, just let the other lie in her lap like this, Chizuru's hand playing with the blue hair. Even if she can't sort out the other girl's past for her, she can at least comfort her. ]
And if we have anything here.. It's time, right?
[ Especially now Chizuru knows people don't leave here so quickly. She's slowly inching closer to the point where she's been here for a year already, and she's well aware of this fact. ]
You can slowly think about it. And slowly figure it out. If anyone expects you to suddenly have a quick answer and you don't, just come flee to me, alright? [ Because Chizuru knows she herself would never have such expectations of Jinx. She wouldn't want to put that sort of pressure on her shoulders. ] Then we can figure it out together. Or you can just try to calm down with me.
[ Look, if Chizuru is going to be the trial girlfriend, this service is the least she can offer.
It's something she wants to be able to do for the other in the first place, anyway. ]
END SOON???
( she shifts one more time to peer up at the other girl; this time with a warm smile on her face. jinx seems to be doing a lot better and in a more healthier mental state from moments ago. it continues to amaze her that simply sitting down and communicating can really do wonders in situations. and hopefully, she'll remember to do that when she is in a heated and sudden moment. )
yes!! we can probably wrap it up here or with your tag, they can just have stayed comfy c:
[ Granted, it'll take a lot before Chizuru is truly at the point where she thinks that she really doesn't like something.. so even though she will keep herself to that promise, some may say she should probably go to Jinx a little earlier than that. She just puts up with too much.
Still, since Chizuru herself very much means this promise, she just smiles down at Jinx. ]
Though I don't think there's much you have to worry about here. Everyone is really nice to me.
cozy and comfy until the end of time. or jinx fucks something up.
( now feeling so much at ease, jinx continues to rest against her with every so often idling talking about nothing. the lovely cozy lofi christmas music resumes on and her spider monkey, also, relaxes and enjoys the atmosphere that's being set.
next month will be a different ball game when the two of them become official. and jinx can only hope her "jinx" won't make a mess of things. maybe it will, maybe it won't. looks like she will have to wait and see. )